NaNoWriMo- Day 10

Last night I went to my very first NaNoWriMo event. I was that elusive mix of anxious and excited that set your stomach to doing weird things, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I miss other writers.

It’s not just that I miss telling people about my own work, though I certainty love to do that, it’s about watching them divulge theirs. There is a passionate spark that enters the eyes of a person who is wholeheartedly in love with their imagination. It’s a beautiful thing for me to see.

So I was dropped off at the Library (I don’t drive, one day I’ll tell you about the time I drove through my garage; not into…through.) and asked the gentleman at the information desk where the write in was going to be. He told me to follow him. I was twenty minutes early so I wasn’t surprised that he had to unlock the door for me.

The room was roughly the size of a classroom with that multicolored carpet that can camouflage any spill short of red. There was a modern overhead projector and a podium. A series of tables and chairs were tucked neatly away in the far corner. I didn’t want anyone to have to wait so I went ahead and got everything all set up. I pulled out some desks and some chairs. I was proud.

I got my laptop out, set everything up. I was the shameless over-achieving over-eager student. All that was left was to sit there and wait.

…and wait.

…and wait some more. Somewhere around four a clock and older pair came in and asked if this was “Room D” I told them I wasn’t sure. They did that sort of laugh you give when you are sure someone is being stupid on purpose and left. I thought it was a little weird.

They came back a few minutes later and the female of the pair asked if I was there for the “Nana writing thing” I said that I was. No one else was here yet, but I got the room set up. They pushed another desk out saying that they had gone all the way upstairs and looked there. I said I was sorry.

Then she asked when the teacher was going to get there.

“I don’t think there is a teacher, at least not one that I am aware of.”

“Oh, you’re sure this time?”

I was a little confused and I’m sure it showed. He tugged on her sleeve and said, “Come on, let’s go back upstairs.” I could hear them talking about me as they left. Suddenly I was seven years old again and friendless on the playground. I thought about following but ultimately decided that my ego couldn’t handle whatever they were serving.

So I sat and waited some more. No one else came. I decided to try to write on my own. Honestly, I didn’t manage much. After a while I gave up and closed everything up. I put the desks and chairs back, but I left the florescents humming in case someone showed up two hours late.

Having little else to do I wandered the library. I find something therapeutic about seeing all the books on shelves. It’s heartening to know that every single one of them was where I am, scrawling out their first book. But they managed. I’d like to think that I will too.

I found a few to check out, and while I wandered upstairs to take a look at the paperback section I heard them. The older couple had taken up a circle of chairs and were playing host to the few others who had come for the NaNo Write-In. Apparently they were in a writing group from the area. I stood there for a moment, looking at them, feeling completely and utterly left out.

I’m a little ashamed to say I cried. Here I am, thirty years old, feeling sorry for myself because the other writers didn’t want me in their clique. Joy.


6 thoughts on “NaNoWriMo- Day 10

  1. Sounds to me like that couple were the ones in high school that only hung out with their popular peers, but in the end wound up old and bitter because popularity didn’t pay off in adult life the way they had expected. Just the mere fact that they were not sure what NaNo is, should tell you a thing or two about them. Give the other writers a chance. Pay no mind the elderly couple who were rude to you. They don’t deserve the space in your head nor the energy of a single heartbeat. Go back next time with a smile on your face, and confidence in your heart. You are a writer, and you have much to offer.

    Liked by 2 people

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