A Hard Conversation About Sex

I’m pretty open with my family that I am a writer. I think it’s important that I tell them that so that they don’t think I am spending time locked away planning the obliteration of the universe. However, due to the fact that sex is a central theme in my stories I haven’t actually told them what I write about or even what the title of the book is called.

Because seriously, how do I tell my southern, Christian, elderly aunt that I am writing about a magical dominatrix? Pretty sure that redefines the measurements of awkward.

Now, originally I wasn’t going to go to the birthday lunch for the patriarch of my family. I am smack dab int he middle of the early stages of NaNo and I had every intention of taking advantage of quiet unimpeded moments to hash out some of my lascivious prose. But then they decided to go to a sushi bar that has an excellent all you can eat lunch menu.

Note: I can eat my weight in sushi and soba noodles.

So I went.

Being a budding author I take a little notebook with me whenever I go out in case I see or hear something that inspires an idea. After plunking down and ordering the first round of appetizers I noticed there was a really neat star pattern on the ceiling, and immediately began thinking about a night scene. I took out my little notebook and jotted down some thoughts so I wouldn’t forget the idea later.

My cousin asked what I was doing. Hesitantly (and with no small amount of stuttering) I told her. This opened the floodgate for questions. “When was my book going to be finished”, “How was I going to publish it?” and, of course, “What’s it about?”

I sat there for a moment, most of the gathered eyes upon me, and confidently warbbled.

“My intent was to write a series of stories with themes of paranormal psychology and preternatural intimacy while taking a harsh look at the social ramifications of a non-traditionally strong woman involved in the world of bondage. I really wanted to achieve a work where head space, “safe, sane, and consensual”, and aftercare were not only touched on but well depicted. I wanted to do this without shirking my ideals on feminism and the treatment of sex workers in America.”

Bam! Right? Nailed it! I was in the middle of doing my inner happy dance when I realized that a lot of my family was still staring at me.

My cousin did this sort of half chuckle snort and went, “What?”

“Porn,” I managed with a sigh. “I write magical bondage porn.”

And that’s the story of how I came out as an erotic author to my entire family.


6 thoughts on “A Hard Conversation About Sex

    1. Well I was pretty sure that my cousin was going to die of laughter. Like literally, snarfing right into her drink.

      My aunt fanned herself (literally) and went “Oh lord! Oh lord!” while her husband shrugged and goes “Well it pays good.”

      My Grandfathers Wife (step-grandmother? Sounds weird, but accurate) just leaned across the table and goes “Well, we love you anyway.”

      It was, in truth, somewhat anticlimactic.

      Liked by 1 person

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